Breaking The Cycle of Poverty

I am inspired!  A wonderful man named Geoffrey Canada and his Harlem Children’s Zone is concentrated on getting kids off to a good start.  This Good Morning America video just blew me away, with a fantastic blurb on his ‘Baby College’.

I see this not only as a value to inner city children, but to all children.  Many Hispanic, as well as Black children, can benefit from something like this.  For that matter, any child born into poverty here in the United States or abroad would do well to be in a program such at this.

Although not a sociologist, with not even a college education, I see certain trends.  I once attended a family function of my ‘adopted’ black family.  A group of about 5  young black girls, all under the age of 18;  some closer to 15 – ALL pregnant or with infants, disturbed me.  What is the motivation to get pregnant at 14 or 15?  It stems from generational conditioning and acceptance of children having children. It also shows a lack of self-esteem for herself and a need for love.  False promises by the father to ‘be there’ justifies the pregnancy in her mind.  We all know that words are cheap;  actions speak.

To keep kids out of this endless cycle, this program teaches parents ‘parenting’.  Sadly, many of these moms-to-be were never parented themselves.  From single parent homes, or having been raised by their grandparents or others, they never learned the responsibility of parenting.  Being a parent is not just having a baby, it is accepting the entire responsibility.

Having a baby is not like buying a couch!  You can’t return it if you don’t like it! You can’t put it out on the curb if you’re tired of it!

As it says in the video, children’s minds are like sponges.  Fill them with happiness, love, respect, knowledge, responsibility and self esteem, then you’re on the way to molding a successful child and responsible adult. Ignore them, establish no guidelines and boundaries of respect and responsibility, beat and punish them…, then you’ve instilled anger, resentment, lack of regard for others and a propensity for abuse and crime.  In short, they’ll repeat the cycle all over again because children learn what they are taught.

Check out the above links and see what YOU THINK.

I bet that you too, will be inspired!

We Are All LAB RATS

YOU and I are lab rats.  Your KIDS are lab rats, too. Unless you grow and consume all your food yourself, YOU are held hostage by the food companies.

Think about it.  Everything thing you eat -  e v e n   those so-called ‘natural’ or ‘organic’ foods probably are tainted in some way with something.

I know too much.  I have my roots in the local food movement, but they stretch way back to the environmental movement.  What I do here, and on my website an other blogs, is try to EDUCATE.

For the most part, the average consumer has their head up their butt when it comes to food and the environment.  They think it’s not their problem, that it doesn’t concern them and that it doesn’t affect them.

Do you send your kids to public  school? Do they play sports?  Do they eat school food?  Do you take them to fast food joints?  What do you buy for them at the  grocery store? Do you eat in restaurants? What DO you eat when you eat? What DO you drink when you drink?

What about your home life?  What products do you buy:  laundry detergent, body care products, beauty products, perfumes, lotions, hair dye, nail polish?  What do you paint your walls with?  Where did you get your furniture? Do you use any bug killing preparations?  What about your lawn?  Do you have a lawn care service and do you KNOW what they put on your lawn?  Have you had a pest company assure you their ‘chemicals’ are safe around kids and pets?  Do you go to Lowe’s or Home Depot and buy lawn care products to keep the nasty bugs away?  Do your KIDS PLAY ON YOUR LAWN?

Where do YOU choose to shop?  Is Wally-World your best buddy because you have fallen victim and been brainwashed by their  ‘save money, live better’  catchphrase?

Big business, especially the likes of Wal-Mart, does NOT give a shit about you.  Look at the way they treat their own employees?  They’ve been convicted on a vast array of charges in recent years of labor violations.  Going waaaay back, and I have a copy of the article in my files here…. they even wanted to move a Native American cemetery because they wanted to build a store!  Do you think, in this day of corporate greed, that it’s gotten any better, that they’ve become a kinder, more gentler Wally?

There are numerous links detailing environmental disregard -and- total disregard for human life on this planet BY food companies and agricultural chemical companies.  You and I and this planet are being POISONED by thousands of chemicals a day because the likes of Monsanto and Bayer… those kindly aspirin people.

DO THE RESEARCH.  Do it for your kids, your friends, your family, your friends and if you care enough – our planet.

Friends Part 2

I’m getting better at spotting users. They’re sneaky bastards, though. You find yourself getting talked into doing things that you don’t want to.  Before you know it, you’re on the list of “usables.”  Take for instance a friend whom I’ll call Beth.

She lives about an hour and a half from here.  At first we’d get together for lunch.  I’d pick her up at home because she had no car.  Her twenty-something year old vehicle died and couldn’t be feasibly repaired.

At first I did this because, well, it was something to do.  Then I found out that I was being conned. The first hint, and it should have been the last, was one day when she called me up saying that she’d signed us up for a workshop given by her friend.  When I asked the cost, she said it was about $40.  What the hell, it was something to do.

Turned out that it wasn’t what I really wanted to do;  it pertained more to her business (being a ‘psychic’) and networking.  Not to mention that she lives in a metropolitan area.  I live in BFE (Bum Fucked Egypt in the boonies). THIS networking  was good for her but bad for me!  So, that was a waste of time. Not wanting to be included on his e-mail list, I wrote a fake address.

I asked the presenter how I was to pay and he said that I had to go to the front desk of the art center. So, I wandered up there, enjoying the art work on display as I went.

“I want to pay for Slash’s workshop.”  I told the woman at the desk.

“That’s one hundred dollars.” she said

“WHAT!!!!! I thought it was $40!” I screeched in astonishment.

“No, he gets $60, we get $40.”  the woman replied.

I was in shock!  I was also NOT amused and started to fume at being sucked into something.  I could barely contain my anger at having to lay out $100 which I could have used elsewhere.  I wasn’t working so this really hurt!

When Beth arrived at the desk I wanted to choke her.  I found out that since she was a friend of this guy, she’d made an arrangement to pay him a little at a time.  I’d already swiped my credit card so it was done.

When we got out to the car I remained as calm as I could, telling her that she should have TOLD ME it was going to be $100.  I would have gladly dropped her off and come back to pick her up later. She swore she didn’t know, but I have a feeling that wasn’t the case.

Scenario #2 was when she called asking how far away Bedford was from my house.  I guessed 2 or 3 hours.  She said that ‘somebody Windwalker’ was having a weekend retreat and she thought I’d be interested in going.  She wanted to go and didn’t want to miss it.

THIS ONE I caught right off the bat.  “Oh, let’s see.., Bedford is about 3 hours from here.  I’d have to come there to get you. With 3 hours round trip to get you and come back here, that would be a LOT of driving.”   Oh – add to it that I’d have to go to something I didn’t want to do (sound familiar?) and God knows how much THAT cost!  I nixed that idea fast!

The last time she tried to get me was after that instance described in the post, “Spiritual-Self-Righteousness Part 2″. We’d taken lunch to her ‘business manager’ who was mooching off another couple.  He had no car and we went there with lunch.

She tried to con me into doing another few  ‘business lunches’ but I knew better.  SHE just wanted ME (the sucker) to drive her around to see her friends.  Over and over she baited me with “Eddie and Cecilia want to see you again.”  I didn’t fall for it.  I begged off time and again and finally she just dropped the whole lunch thing.

Some of these people probably don’t realize they are doing it. Perhaps they think I don’t mind.  For the most part, that’s true – BUT – when it becomes obvious that it’s ME who does all the running, then I put an end to it.  I’m not a taxi.  They know friends like me want to do what we can to help.  There is a fine line between helping and being taken advantage of.

Don’t be a bloodsucker!

Friends?

I used to be a better friend.

I used to WANT to be a better friend ….but all that ended about 15 years ago.

When I was a kid I wasn’t accepted by others.  I was the one with the funny name, clothes that were hand-me-downs,  never the latest fashion.  I had terribly buck teeth.  In school I tried to make myself as invisible as possible.

To make up for this, as many kids like me do, I developed what I call the ‘puppy dog syndrome’.  I’d go out of my way for people, be as accommodating as I could so that they’d be my friend.  This carried over into my adult life.

I had two good friends.   Both had families and lots of responsibilities.   One had a business at home on her farm, a metaphysical gift shop.  The other had a bunch of kids and was very involved in community activities.

All was well until the day I realized I was being used.

Oh, I guess I was a friend, alright… but it began to seem like I was a ‘convenient’ friend.

I only got a phone call from either of these women when they wanted something.  They never called just to chat or say hi.

The one with the shop would call me when she was having a workshop or class and needed another ‘body’ in a chair.

The other one, who didn’t have access to a car, would only call me when she needed to go somewhere.

I know that part of being a good friend encompasses helping your friends.  When it becomes obvious that one person seems to be doing all the ‘helping’ and the other is always doing the ‘taking’, that seems a bit one-sided to me.

I called them both on this after I’d realized that they never, ever called me.  This was a lopsided friendship:  me calling…, me going..,  me doing…,  and them…, taking.  I’d cried so hard and agonized over this realization for weeks, feeling bad that I’d been used and not stood up for  myself.  I also felt bad that I had been used;  not treated as a friend but as a ‘taxi’ and a ‘body’.

When confronted, both of these women said the same thing:  “Well, it costs money to call YOU.”

I replied:  “Well, I don’t get to call you for free, either, but I do!  It costs ME TOO to call you!”

They didn’t know that.

Gee wiz…..

I shut down after that. I guarded my actions – and still do- although I have found myself falling into that old routine again.  As soon as I realize it, though, I stop and pull back  immediately.

I think that there are those of us who are natural givers and those who, not realizing it – are always the takers. it is the ying and yang of relationships I guess.